The Book of Proverbs
Part 18
“Forgiving Hearts”
Part 2
“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, [Forgives]
but whoever repeats the matter
[Doesn’t let it go]
separates close friends.”
-Proverbs 17:9
In most cases it seems as if Forgiveness is a process.
“Why” We Are to Forgive
God has forgiven us!
This will help us to change our thinking about hurts and those who have hurt us.
We can’t change the hurt,
but we can change our thinking about it.
The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 “But when that Servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[Not ten thousand bags of gold] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from Your heart.”
-Matthew 18:21-35
It is helpful for us to lay down our hurts alongside the hurts that we have caused God.
Our hurts are insignificant alongside the hurts that we have caused God.
How have people hurt you?
We have hurt God in the same kind of ways
Rejected you
Abandoned you
Abused you in wrong ways for their own sinful gratification
Unjustly used you as a Scapegoat for their own problems
Forgotten you
Unjustly gotten mad at you
Mocked/Made fun of you
How has God NOT hurt you?
Rejected you, Abandoned you, Abused you in wrong ways for his own sinful gratification, Forgotten you, Unjustly gotten mad at you, Mocked you.
How have we hurt God?
Rejected, Abandoned, Abused him for our own sinful gratification, Forgotten him, Unjustly gotten mad at him, Mocked/Made fun of him disrespectfully.
God has forgiven us.
“How” we are to Forgive
(Helpful steps in the Forgiveness Process)
1. Give up your right to hurt them back.
2. Humanize them.
3. Genuinely want good for them in the future.
Eye for Eye
38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. [Enemy -anyone who has potential to hurt us]
Change your thinking about the person
If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also…41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, [Roman soldiers] go with them two miles.”
-Matthew 5:38-41
[“Go the Extra Mile”]
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil… 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do NOT take revenge, my dear friends, BUT leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” [Dt. 32:35] says the Lord… 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
–Rom. 12
God has forgiven us!
This will help us to change our thinking about hurts, and those who have hurt us.
We can’t change the hurt, but we can change our thinking.
“Let it Go”
Pray to God for help.
“If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
-Galatians 5:15
We file things in a file called “Hurt Memories” or “Things done wrong to me”.
The memory of hurt doesn’t fade easily.
Wrong ways of dealing with things done wrong against us
1.Don’t punish them every opportunity that you get.
Ie. Ignoring, Not Responding/Replying, etc
2. Don’t use humor as a weapon.
“Sarcasm”
You say it as if it is supposed to be funny, but you both know that it was meant as mean, to hurt.
3. Don’t blame God [As a Scapegoat]
For most people the number one cause of hurt seems to be rejection of some kind.
[Not loved, Not accepted, Not respected]
Stop the Cycle
End the Cycle
Action/Reaction/Action/Reaction/etc.
“If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
-Galatians 5:15
What have they really taken away from you that God cannot or give?
Others take
God gives
Are you continually going to God to get the things that he promised and has already provided?
Unconditional love.
Unconditional acceptance.
Unconditional forgiveness.
Or are you expecting to get those things from the person who has hurt you?
God will take care of you. Jesus said;
“Everyone who asks receives, the one who seeks finds…”
-Matthew 7:8
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